dangit

So I really didn't want to be that guy who started a blog, posted a couple times and then disappeared. Oops. I'm that guy. I could start into my excuses about how busy the last few months have been, but alas, everyone knows that story, so instead I'll save that and just try this again. 

Honestly, I think I need to just spit out a basic "journal entry" of sorts to get myself back into the mindset of posting. The past few months have been very busy, at times a bit too much so, but they have been marked by much of God's grace. It began with the Resurgence Conference in Seattle, hosted by Mars Hill Church. This was a fabulous time of teaching aimed at a lot of young pastors and leaders from around the world. All in all, it was an encouraging time with great messages from folks such as Mark Driscoll, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper and Matt Chandler, all focused on what it looks like for the church to remain faithful to the gospel while contextualizing the message to our particular cities and their unique cultures. All of the sermons are available on video or audio here. Better still, I finally had a chance to hang in the marvelous city of Seattle with my brother and his girlfriend, which was a great time as well.

From there it was back to Columbia for the flurry of excitement surrounding the True/False Film Festival, my favorite weekend of the year as far as living in Columbia goes. This is a primo documentary film festival - it just gets better every year. Why the name True/False, you ask? Well, it's quite the fitting title, in fact. The whole premise of the fest is sort of designed to dismantle the conception that just because a film is of the documentary variety, that must mean it is objective truth. The folks spearheading this fest rather operate under the assumption that the film-makers' perceptions and world views color how the films are made (as would of course be true of any art form). Add to this fact that we find ourselves in a time where documentary as a medium is exploding with new ideas and creativity, and you end up with a weekend full of powerful films and great discussions. This is the kind of thing that makes for a flourishing city, so I'm thrilled to be in a place where this happens every year. We were able to catch several well-crafted documentary films, none of which are widely released yet. But if you see them around, I would highly recommend the films American Teen, Very Young Girls, Forbidden Lies, Man on Wire, and the Greening of Southie. I wish I could comment on them each here, but this post would get rather long. Perhaps later.

The following three weeks were the busiest, as leading music in church always comes to a head for Good Friday and Easter. Good Friday is always one of my favorite worship services to plan, as we put the focus heavily on music and the reading of Scripture - all with the aim of powerfully portraying the weight and significance of the crucifixion. Taking communion with my community here on that night is always one of the more affecting moments of worship of each year. And of course, to follow that with the joyous celebration of Easter as we remembered again the resurrection of Christ, overall makes for the high point of the year for celebration. Our hope is all summed up right there, in Jesus' death and resurrection, and our joining into that reality by faith. It's always great times, and as usual, I was completely exhausted afterwards!

Next up was California for vacation, which came at that perfect time, for when Missouri doesn't know whether it wants Spring or Winter, California is much more certain. Sunshine and warmth were much easier to find in Los Angeles and San Diego, even if it's still cold at night down there. In any case, it was a fun time visiting several friends and catching the wedding of one of my oldest friends, Ryan, in San Diego. It had been a while since we'd been able to spend that much time together, so I was grateful for the opportunity to renew our friendship a bit, get to know his new wife better, and catch up with his family. Plus, weddings are always a great reminder of the vows Ann and I have made, and they seem to have a way of spurring us toward greater unity and renewed focus on building each other up. It was quite refreshing. All in all, we were quite blessed on our trip to California - we didn't need to rent a car or stay in a hotel, all due to the generosity and hospitality of our friends. Praise the Lord, indeed. 

So here we are, back in Columbia. We celebrated Ann's birthday last night, and thanks again to the generosity of family for our birthdays, we were able to go to the best restaurant in town, C C's City Broiler, for the first time. I don't even know how to describe the experience my taste buds had there last night. I wish I could somehow let them speak for themselves, as I'm sure they could articulate the ecstasy better than I. Fresh Blackened Salmon with fruit salsa with a Cabernet? Yes, my friends, I think I will leave you pondering the greatness of that short time of bliss. It may be another 5 years before we can go to that restaurant again, but it will be worth the wait. 

And with that, we're caught up. Please feel free to chastise me if I do not resume a more regular flow of posting. 

on starting a new blog

This new blog has been a long time in the making for me. There are probably a few out there who remember my original blog from my college days. I started it smack in the middle of the early craze. You know, back when these things were all the rage for the new and bizarre exhibitionist-style diary entries. At first, it was a funny phenomenon. As with most technologies, I was a bit luddite in my resistance. Finally I gave in an joined the online journaling community. But eventually I realized that simply making my journal public wasn't enough to motivate me to continue the trend. So I put aside for a few years.

But I think I am finally ready to re-enter the fray. Over the past few years, the approach to blogging has expanded and matured, and what I now see excites me. The possibilities for this medium are relatively broad, in both good and bad ways. I hope, of course, to use mine for good.

I guess I like to think of the blog world, or at least its potential, as a natural extension of local community onto a broader scale. For all my criticisms of other modern fads such as Facebook, the same could be said of their potential as well. If you are well-rooted in your own community, finding purpose and identity on a daily basis, then these tools become less about ego-stroking or image-crafting than they are about creating further opportunities for dialog over the many challenging tasks and struggles that face us humans in our day. These tests are both personal and communal, and as such they demand engagement in both realms. So, I say, shall we not thoughtfully probe these questions and challenges in the quiet places as well as in the furnace of relationships, both local and abroad? That's what I suppose would be the greatest potential use of the blog world.

I've chosen an interesting title for my new endeavor: "A Love Stronger than our Fear". It comes from the title of a song by one of my favorite singer/songwriters, Derek Webb. He wrote it most immediately as a response to the dark times of war in which we find ourselves, looking for a better way to respond to enemies than with violence and oppression. "What would you do if someone put a gun to your head," he questions, "and asks you to tell them a lie? What would you say if you were pushed that way, to betray yourself to keep yourself alive?" These questions certainly apply to life in a world of potentially endless war. But I think they apply more deeply, as Webb also applies them, to every challenge we face within ourselves and around us. "Because there is a day that's been inaugurated, but has not yet come. And we can proclaim, by showing that there's a better way." That's ultimately what I am hoping a lot of the conversation from this blog is about: that better way, the love stronger than our fear.

This is personal for me in so many ways. Even this act of beginning a new blog is an attempt to proclaim that love that overcomes fear. One of my biggest reasons for doing it is to stimulate my long-suffocated impulse to write. I think I have been given an ability to put words to good use. I want to cultivate it, I want to go somewhere with it and steward it. But nothing scares me more than the thought of putting some of my writings - poems, essays, anything, out here for anyone to see and evaluate. What if I'm proven wrong? What if the gift is in my head, made up for my own ego? This is me saying there is a love stronger than that fear, so I don't have to hide under a rock any more, never knowing how God might put my hands to use.

In the same way, this touches the broader areas of life in community for me. Some of my recent readings have given me great hope for a deeper engagement with the world around me. That world meets me daily, in the beautiful fellowship of my church and in the wider, mostly yet untouched community of the broken and hurting world that seeks restoration so badly. I know the One who promises that restoration. Indeed, there is a better way to be explored, to know, to proclaim.

All of life really is interconnected, so this blog won't really have one particular theme. Rather, I simply hope this will be a place where we can avoid shallow intellectual babble, but instead go deeper. For as Richard Foster says, "The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people." I hope you'll join me in this endeavor.

Words from another of my favorite songwriters, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco, provide a suitable end to this post/beginning of this blog. These words were written at a great turning point in his life from constant despair to a disposition of hope. I leave you with them: "Maybe the sun will shine today, the clouds will blow away. Maybe I won't feel so afraid. I will try to understand...either way."